11.24.09
Thanks for nothing
“What are you thankful for?”
I’ll probably hear this question 20 times in the next couple days. At office meetings, at kids’ activities, when I meet friends, and undoubtedly in about 300 e-mails. The kids will bring home art projects about what they’re thankful for, and I will hear countless celebrities rattling off what they are thankful for.
And as many times as I hear the question – I’ll hear the same answers, “my health, my family, my friends.” Of course the kids will give more immediate answers. “We’re having spaghetti for dinner” or “The new Transformers movie” or maybe “no homework over Thanksgiving.” And of course the celebs will be thankful for “hope” or “love” or “the milk of human kindness.” Not one of them will mention their seaside place in Santa Barbara or the new addition to their 12-car garage.
A funny thing happens though, when you ask someone what they are thankful for. They get a sort of searching look on their face – just for a moment. It’s the same look that you can see on the face of guys wandering aimlessly through grocery store – the guys who “didn’t need to make a list.”
“Now what was I supposed to get?” they ask themselves.
And as if this would come as a surprise to any one – I have a theory about this. I think we are all pre-programmed to focus on the next objective. This seems like it would be a natural tendency, after all, for tens of thousands of years – at least until the invention of the Paleolithic agriculture, ziplocks and refrigerators–food was a day-to-day thing. So being thankful for the blueberry bush that served as breakfast probably wasn’t a terribly helpful trait. What really counted was finding the next one that would provide dinner.
Deep inside of us, I don’t think we have forgotten that lesson. Every day is about the next accomplishment – the raise, the commission, the kids’ next report cards – it’s the unwavering march toward one’s own eventual death… “What’s next? What’s next? What’s next?” Rest in peace.
Or if it’s not the blueberry bush that’s the focus, it’s the other end of the food chain that occupies the caveman mind: trying to avoid being eaten by a cave bear.
It’s a bit of a mental gear change to stop thinking about the next blueberry bush or cave bear. And while many readers might be saying “I have ziplock bags and no fear of cave bears,” I think we just have different names for those things today. Instead of blueberry bushes, we worry about 401Ks and instead of cave bears, it’s Swine Flu.
And even when we stop to think about what we’re grateful for, we still don’t leave hunter-gatherer mode. “I’m grateful that my family is healthy” (not being eaten by cave bears) and “I’m grateful for my home and prosperity” (blueberry bush). It seems like most of what we’re thankful for boils down to getting what we desire and escaping what scares us.
I have found that being at Innsbrook can provide a path out of the hunter-gatherer mindset. When I am focused on the beauty of nature, watching sunlight on the lake or hearing the breeze in the treetops or the call of a loon in the evening (sorry – I recently went to Wisconsin), it’s possible to stop thinking about the bear and the bush. In fact – it’s possible to just think about nothing. When I wander down a trail or sit by a creek and listen to the water or smelling the fall leaves or crisp air, my caveman mind stops its constant dialogue and I just experience.
And then, with a mind full of nothing, the most amazing thing happens. I don’t have to reach outside myself to think of what I’m thankful for. Instead, it radiates from inside me. There’s no grocery list pause. All I am is thankful. (And not for the presence of bush nor lack of bear.)
Instead of being thankful for the Dow topping 10,000, I’m thankful for the amazing beauty that surrounds me each day and the sights and sounds and smells of being.
Instead of being thankful for the health of friends and family, I find myself glowing with gratitude for knowing them… for their smiles and their unique characteristics and the very miracle of their being… thankful that the universe came together to create something that laughs and loves and jokes and appreciates beauty.
Thanksgiving is the perfect time to prepare our minds for the holiday season that follows — the season where we celebrate light in the darkness of winter, where we focus on hope.
When we stop thinking about the bear and the bush… when we quiet our minds… when we let the thankfulness that is within us rush forth… there is nothing left but hope.
So I guess I’m most thankful for times when I think of nothing, and experience gratitude in everything.
Photo credits: David Rentfrow (leaves) and Laura Hahn (creek)